The Verticle Joy Ride
Commin at ya on
Thursday November 16
The One and Only: Nathan "Wazzy" Wu
***** Double the Vatch Holeage ******
Jenny 'O I'm not wearing Underware' was a member of todays party fiesta at the hometown Regatta Tavern. Others contributing were C. E. Webster, FiberCungs, Corn Pole-e-o, and for a limited time the 'Ice Baby' Vogue. A special guest appearance was made by yes he was there the Bad Ratchy. Paulie or better know by his family as Taan ( That is Thai For Little Guishe Ball) was nothing more than dumbfounded when he faced his identical twin brother.
***** Clinique Missed Me ******
Arvi "The No Cung King" Santos was released today from the GAP after severe budget cuts were announced some however think it is all a consipiracy. Hidden cameras reveal small children running terrified from the clothing store. It that chicken pocks? The world may never know.
***** Theme Song *****
"I am the man that will fight for your Jana.." The title track from Karate Kid III goes out on request to all those broken hearts left in the wake of the one called Cable.
And a special message "Jenny please talk to me.....please"
***** Sports Highlights *******
Pool expert Eric Yo was not only dethroned but smashed into the ground and snaped like a little twig today. He was sent home in tears after loosing a miserable game of 8-ball.
"I have not been whipped this bad since I was five" - EYo.
***** Think Snow ********
It may just be that time of year again girls and boys, ski season is once again at our door. A local trip to perhaps song moutain or the likes may occur this Friday so be on the look out. It is rumored that the "real thing" will be shacking up with the "Fuzz" to to hit the slopes, and I'm not talkin Debbie Nip. For further info stay tuned to this local news source.
***** Fuzz grows Balls? ****
Contrary to popular beliefs the article in last Tuesdays issue was not direct from the Fuzz but only an emblishment of what we belive the fuzzscape would entail, Why you ask does the Schnel not respond himself?
1. More Fuzz than Balls
2. More Fuzz than creativity
3. All Fuzz and no action.
We here have no idea but promise our faithful readership that we will do our best to provoke any response that Fuzzy has to give in the mean time any creative Ideas on how to get Fuzz to defend himself in this public forum will be glady posted.
**** Massage Madam Returns *****
YoLanda no relation to Eric Yo, will be blessing our presence soon here on the SU hill, for those who dont know she will rub you silly for free but dont expect Cung, just ask RV.
**** Reader Poll ****
Fluff or Fuzz ?
In my opinion fluff is a little feminate, but if he wants to be a girlie man let him.
***** Fuzzy Logic *****
In fuzz lingo if he says 'no I have work to do' when you are leaving it really means:
'Yes I would have gone with you to the movies if you had asked me.'
***** Quotes *****
One shot of Jaeger, its been a bad day.
Girls of the world are nothing but trouble.
It seems as if Clayton R. has stolen E$yo's jeep grand cherokee. It seems as if clayton wants to "Go as a frat guy for awhile. Ya know, a new change of pace. I always liked they way they can guzzle beer".
Reports also say that Paulie will use the stolen Cherokee this weekend.
"Dude, I am driving around until i see Fuzzy. Then I am running him over"
MJXM is happy about this as it appears that Fuzzy has left his season ticket for Matt in his will. A.r. Cry Hell also has been on the lookout for the Fluffernutter. AFter knocking off Bill Sicaras at STeve's house this summer, it seems as if the "Hit man formally known as Paisley Park" has got his laser sighting set on the Fa FA Flamer.
No one knows who hired this crazy son-ofa-bitch.
Ha-man-fu has been reading the "What to do @ an S.u. basketball game " guidebook after being de-virginized last night.
E$, a student of ....
I-Key-[eric] YO!, the art of being clueless
Eric that was pretty good stuff.
check dis out.
Bustin some rhymes about Fuzzster
to pass time in da computer cluster.
Comstock Homies are the Craziest
Lancaster Homies are the Craziest
East coast love for the lake effect
Girls treat fuzz like he's got a defect.
Haven Homies are the Craziest
Boland Homies are the craziest
lots of brothers workin hard, gonna make big cash
others just lay back smokin their hash
Euclid Homies are the Craziest
Walnut Homies are the craziest
God damn, who the hell is in the shower?
Must be paulie for the full half hour.
Sumner Homies are the Craziest
Ackerman Homies are the craziest
Paulie still in calculus, maybe this time he will pass.
If he doesnt make it, its gonna be his ass.
Clarendon Homies are the Craziest
East Adams Homies are the craziest
Yo's working hard, usually solo
He tried to get with rose but she said it was a no-go.
Ostrum Homies are the Craziest
Livingston Homies are the craziest
Eric Yo won the bet, he went to see Seven
Too bad she was just a friend, he was home by eleven.
Brewster Homies are the Craziest
Watson Homies are the craziest
Bill's new job is pretty fly it might make him rich.
He's going back to cali gonna leave back his bitch.
Maggies Homies are the Craziest
Regatta Homies are the craziest
Jay Dog and Wazzy going down to Mardi Gras
Gonna get drunk and see the girlies with no bras.
Darwins Homies are the Craziest
Faegons Homies are the craziest
Chuck finally went to class, 4 courses in one day!
He goofed off for three years, nows the time to pay.
44's Homies are the Craziest
Harry's Homies are the craziest
Steve better study hard and get into law school
cause he wont make it in a band esecially with Tod the Tool.
Syracuse in the House Y'all
Tues April 9 1996
Alternative Lifestyle Sightings
Reports have it that Arie(a.k.a Ark, a.k.a Cabel, a.k.a Richard, a.k.a. Prose, a.k.a Unibomber) was seen last Saturday night out on the town.
What makes this story interesting is the location he was seen frequenting.
An eye witness Wuscape informant reports the one time hermit is now coming out of the closet in more ways than one. Cable was seen in Treks a known Gay Club in downtown Syracuse. Earlier that night Hafinger was seen out with Cable, they had entered the predominantly heterosexual bar Regatta on the SU Hill but remarked that "it just wasn't their scene."
Hafinger was not identified at the Gay Club but some speculate as to his presence.
In other news, Eric Yo is burning up the student dating scene with his new secret beau, Mimi. Although her ranking has slipped slightly in the polls since last year, she still remains one of the top picks on campus. Yo denies anything other than friendship but last Saturday night's movie, seemed to elude to greater things to come. Be on the watch.
As a footnote Fuzz almost went out on a date with his berry special friend, but she went away for Easter, better luck next time.
And Mimi is the TA for the social dance class Fuzz is in. A possible love triangle brewing, will Fuzzerella get the last dance?
Vatch 'I want Snatch' Pole is finally turning!! Yes it has been a long time in the making, he has endured years of agony, and defeat. He has harbored countless rejections at the hands of ruthless bouncers. Now Paulie can gambol the family riches away and drink his way into misery, and it is all going to be legal. In his final hours of under-age-dome Mr. Pole reflects on his last days of youthfull innocence here in the states and recalls the good ole' days in BangCock where stories fortell him drinking barrels of whisky and being massaged lavishly by exotic Thai women. Will the glorydays return?
All are called and encouraged to celebrate who just may be the last of the freshman class of '92 in turning 21 on Thursday night! Stay tuned for details.
Contact Fuzz(Social coordinator of Comstock Heights) for info.
Hey Yolanda call me Splat.
I don't even count him.
Toss my salad
**Back issues of WuScape Soon to appear on CuseScape**