***Asian Jil Bash***
some attended the asian jill bash. among those were deb nip, fluffy and e.yo. those not in attendance include ha'i'm not 21', matt 'fuck her she didn't call back and even if she did i wouldn't go out' , paulie 'fuck asian jill she can lick my ass', nathan 'i tried to call you e.yo i swear', garr 'stuck in fredonia', and rich 'i was making money to pay for akiyo'.

others say that everyone won that didn't attend, since asian jill was already piss drunk. others were happy to see steve horgan and psycho shawna. highlights include -dream girl barmaiding, deb nip ordering shots of 'flying nazis' for eric yo to pay for and a quick glimpse of 'lee ann and alison'. sources close to the event witnessed

1) motown taking her shirt off [this is not confirmed],

2) fuzzy "failing w/ his magic" on asians roomie . [yes that's a real quote] and

3) e.yo toasting shots w/ accounting majors.

overall, it was a good night to drink up. only fuzzy can give us the 'pre-faegans update'. asian jills boyfriend, another accounting major says ' i love when she gets drunk. nuff said. '

overall, a mild success and drinking fun. love that woodchucks cider, deb is fun 2 jam with, alwayz hot girls around at faegans, and psycho shawna, amy and brett among others all made guest appearances.

happy bday asian jill and i give this night a 'B'.

***musical interlude***

here is a rap by e$yo and then notorious g.a.r.r.

i freestyled...i swear!

hitin rock bottom of the well
can't you tell
going to hell
is fuzzy and his schnel
he's got his schnel on
he's trying to grow on
this chick named joy
she wants a boy toy
schnel thinkz he got the mottz
paulie cookin w/ his pots
such as the wok making real mean rice
j.crew's a bitch but she looks nice
e.garr's outta here like 1994
e.yo's got that mack we've seen b4
livingston hoes want more and more
i'll use til i'm done, knock em out the front door
m-j-x-m's now got a car
so if u want to do a drive by don't look far
80's chick got the hair like the simpson's marge
e.yo and his posse still payin that towing charge

and i'm out...

i mean gone!

Me, y'all, nicer than your momma on your birthday.

Gettin' mad attention, like the planet does on Earthday.

On Wed, 20 Sep 1995, Eric R. Garr wrote:

Everybody trippin havin stupid fits,
dont know what to do Notorious GARR and E$ makin the fuckin hits, Big Steph in the house turnin niggas heads
GARR took the shit upstairs and broke all the motherfuckin beds,
E$ got ho's on his tip bustin a nut jus fo fun,
cuz he know he gonna be makin the green at Ernst & motherfuckin Young,
Fuzz always trippin talkin to Vatchpols hand
He cant even get Joy although he says he's the fuckin man,
MJXM's I-ight down to the mother- fuckin bone,
but he dissed himself by goin out w/Sharon Stone,
CF Rosati is bangin on the drums,
but his eating habits are so bad he needs some motherfuckin tums,
alright I just had to let this out get yo schnell on!
Notorious GARR

***hot off the press - man goes nuts***

everyone thought he was a normal man, but it has been revealed!!! front runner of best dressed man of the year [still bitter about last year's lost to chinadu] MJXM has been scene going 'over the edge'. sue ng says 'see i tell you he always nuts. typical white man. ' some can'tbelieve it. others don't know why. many factors have been contributing to this dilemma.

1. doug tribou and off-air comments. doug says 'he plays that rap shit and i don't deal with that.'

2. cecelia and garr leaving the same semester - nuff said

3. COLUMBUS day. after reading zima 'columbus day holiday fun facts', many people saw MJXM scream 'fuck you eric yo!!!' and walk around campus w/ a loaded .44 magnum looking to kill him. unable to find him (e.yo was hiding in the schmewhouse editing suites), MJXM hid in his room, planned out the killing and drew pictures of fluffy schneller in deluxe paint to keep his mind of the incident.

4. kilene - many still pick mjxm to get this hot wonder. despite the odds for him, he is not too sure. seeing her w/ a 'frat guy' was the last straw. the fans want a move soon, if not, MJXM just may not be making too many trips down to 'kilene's basement'.

5. one word - schmewhouse. sick of cocky professors and annoying students and no job, MJXM ran around naked screaming ' i pay this kind of money to go here! i think i'm going slightly looney'. sources close to the event say it may have been lyle posing as MJXM while filming the great american movie.

fans want MJXM to get better, but others are not sure if healing is possible.

we can only wait and see....


people have seen Ben Guyre'Girl' around schmewhouse. no one knows why people have seen joy hiding in a tree. by now, we know why.

***see you next edition. now that i have done no work two nights in a row***